Growing up

Perhaps one of the greatest lessons I learned in the past year is that growing up is infinite.

I used to be scared to live so much so that I’d pass an opportunity to make an appearance just cos I didn’t want to be seen. This fear stems from a myriad of happening during my formative years. I lacked courage and confidence to just be myself despite how often the few people close to me told me I had a voice that needed to be heard but still I was stuck in silence.

Silence offered me comfort, not having to worry if I said something wrong or not.

I found it hard to embrace my difference, There’s this voice that constantly reverberates in my head not to put myself all out there so much so that I slowly began to fade and couldn’t recognize who I was anymore. This fueled in part by fear and feeling of unworthiness due to past mistakes and the associated pain of unmet desires. Mid-2018 I started to reevaluate myself and my journey and everyone around me. I realized hiding won’t help me heal and I’m giving up on my essence by letting debris build on top of who I truly am. I understood clearly I needed to fight to reclaim myself and this was more of a mental battle.

It’s almost mid-2019 now and I’m glad I did that much-needed soul searching. I haven’t shone my light as bright as it truly is but I’m far from dimming my light to make those around me comfortable. I’m rediscovering myself and all my strengths and exploring sides to me I never knew there was. I hope you take from this Half as much as I hope.

Sending love and kisses your way! Remember so far you are still living, keep hope alive. Tomorrow always turns out better than we feared.

Love always! 💞💞